"Loo"se Control

I almost skipped a beat. The motor cyclist raced from the right most side of the road to the left in a jiffy with a thin air cushion between his rear and my car bumper. I mouthed every bit of vocabulary my college life has taught me. As I relaxed, I looked into the rear view mirror and much to my amazement, this guy drove like a maniac only to park his vehicle and empty his bladder along the road side wall.

India has taken “Democracy” to a whole new level. It’s not unusual to see an array of people against a shoddy looking wall having a two min tête-à-tête along side a dog keenly involved in the same activity. As a Good Samaritan I have tried my bit to discourage this disgusting practice. Once braked right beside a guy in his act and honked loud; tried focusing my car’s high beam on another and there were occasions when I tried staring continuously, although this once resulted in an embarrassing “invitation”.

Even the corporation came out with some innovative ways. Top on my list is this sign board that reads “Do not urinate on walls, only dogs urinate on walls”. Still not in the Webster, but an alternative way to communicate this is “Do not create nuisance”. The smarter ones came up with having pictures of Gods and Goddesses; sadly this didn’t quite deter the atheists and non-Hindus. In fact this is so rampant that when my five year old nephew was sketching a landscape, had the sun shining bright, some trees, lanes clogged with traffic and had about five-six men facing a wall. When asked why….”that also don’t know..going chuchu of course” came the prompt reply. We got a crisis here man! Sooner or later we are all going to get “pee”ved!