We are like this only

Could have written like a Wordsworth
had the English teacher not been a distraction

Could have left behind a Tom Cruise
had I pumped in a little more iron

Could have strummed like a Hendrix
had I attended my classes a little longer

Could have led like the Mahatma
had personal interests not come in my way

Could have acted like a super star
had my last name been "Khan"

But sadly am none..and jus'
leaving behind someone that
tried it all but got no where;
Cheers to all those under achievers
who create the over achievers

My tryst with...

She was jus inches away from a really personal part of my anatomy. She was looking straight into my eyes and I was looking into hers. I had no idea what she was thinking…but for me this is the first time being in a situation like this. I have read about it, heard about it and even seen it a couple of times; but never been a part of it until today. She was breathing hard. Is this really going to happen, I thought to myself? Expected this moment since the time I moved in as her neighbor…but didn’t expect it to happen this soon. Should I stay still or move away? The latter was hardly an option. There I was standing helplessly with two grocery bags on both my hands with my neighbor’s dog sniffing all over me. And this lady nonchalantly walks towards me…and says with a smile…don’t worry she wont bite. Then why the F*$% do you have a dog. I almost blurted it out, but abreast of the compromising position I was in, I stayed quiet.

All you dog owners…if you are listening…please leash your dogs. Contrary to what you may think, they actually bite. They have been designed to bite…then why wont they. I really have nothing against dogs… if at a distance. In fact I love them…I think about them many a times in my life. Every time my boss goes like…this work is horrible, want this completed by eod…I think to myself…every “dog” has its day. This is not all…whenever I do a self-appraisal of my life, I go like…ya right! It’s a dog’s life.

Relationship

I cajoled you,

I pampered you,

Fed you with gallons of time,

You promised you would be mine,

You made me smile,

You made me laugh,

Now you make me cry,

Until I die,

I wonder why,

And I wonder why?

How to be good in exactly twenty-one days

The usual flight delay and I promptly walked into a bookstore. Was browsing through the “best seller” section and this little book caught my attention…”To be good, think good”. Ya right! This is where I missed the trick; now all I have to do is to simply think good. I mean…what’s with these self-help books. Which moron reads them? Imagine a loser carrying this book to a party…“how to win friends easily”. So, there he is getting introduced to someone and he goes like…jus’ a min, let me refer to my friendship manual, he takes a peek…Chapter 3 “Establish rapport – maintain eye contact whilst reinforcing image of strength and warmth”.

I have seen the guys that buy these books…they all look so annoyed, frustrated and mighty pissed in life. There is very little effect that these books have on them. Or maybe, a book like “how to be cunning, manipulative and evil” might work! Ya, am gonna write this book and have the publisher get the lines imprinted “New York bestseller”. I don’t think it is so hard a task to be NY bestseller. Almost every book has this line! I think this will work. Being bad is lot easier than being “good”. I remember reading some where…all these good doers are really embarrassed about their deeds…that’s why you see Superman, Spiderman and Batman…all wearing masks. They don’t want people to know who they are. “Superman, yah thanks for saving my life, but did you have to come through my wall” I mean…the front door is open. They’ve got a security deposit. Now what am I supposed to do.

The handshake eticurt

HELLO SIR! THIS IS REALLY NOT ACCEPTABLE. Definitely not some thing that I wanted to hear when I was in the mid of hmm err nature’s call. Have always been doing it this way the last two decades…I muttered to myself even as I looked around to see who is policing me during this really personal moment of mine. I found the Sherlock… there he was holding on to a nokia 1350 with his left hand even as he was continuing to pee. And he went on…not acceptable sir; you have to make the payment by end of this month. Some relief I must say, although found it hard to digest the trauma and shock I was made to undergo. Even as I was mulling over this, I noticed this guy keenly engrossed in his conversations and walking out of the rest room. And hey… jus a min…shouldn’t you not be washing your hands?

After about 10 minutes time I step into my boss’ room and whom do I see. The same old pee boy! And my boss goes like…. Hi RG… meet our new client Mr. Loganathan; and he promptly extends his cordial hand. I mean who the hell really “invented” this handshake formality. Why on earth should some one share the excitement of meeting people by vigorously shaking a person’s hand? Cant a simple nod work, or even our very own Indian way of a raised eyebrow, or even a Japanese head bow. You see… all these have been carefully designed to avoid any physical contact. Our intellectually supreme ancestors have already envisaged the new age man to have talking devices that take away even his basic needs like washing of hands after peeing. Am really glad to meet you Mr. Loganathan, but do we really have to shake hands… I thought to myself. With my boss refereeing the “event” I had no option but to reluctantly extend my hand although with a discomforted look even as I muttered…pleasure to meet you sir! Mr. Loganathan ended proceedings by carefully transferring all his germs! So much so for my hour long shower with lifebuoy the germ killer!!!

There is a new attire in town!

Its been almost a year since I blogged. Thanks to eclipsed thoughts for getting me back into this routine.

This is like a sequel to my earlier article "Fashion hits a new low". Had written about this to my "apartment egroup" after observing a certain fashion statement. Some of you might even be able to relate to this....Am pasting the mail I had sent to my egroup

The webster defines "towel" as some thing used for drying one's body after bathing and showering. The definition fails to extend its purpose as an "acceptable" attire in a society of men, women and children. I guess by now, most of you might have guessed where I am heading to, for those that dont.....this is about men walking around apartment campus in their towels. I personally find it very amusing to see men walk all around the campus and also in the elevators in their towels. Now with dogs also "allowed" in the elevator, not sure if it is so safe a thing to do. I am really not writing this to initiate another fight or debate; in fact some of the "towel wearers" are my good friends; but I am jus not sure if it is an acceptable thing to do. End of it, it is your call, am fine as long as you do not pull off a "Ranbir Kapoor" as in Sawariyaa. Those that have gotten offended by my selfish insensitive remark on men walking around in their bathing towels can send their abuse mails to my personal id. However I can assure you that I wont relatiate, nor will I start clicking pictures and posting it in the egroup. Swadesh is your birth, and so is walking around in towels. This was jus a thought...