I Got Mail

I like emails! I like the small window that pops up every time I get a mail. Makes me feel important, makes me feel “needed” and makes me feel like I am contributing to the company’s growth. I have often wondered how life would have been during the “pre-email” era...you would have had a boss walk up all the way to the employee’s desk and say…”Loganathan, I want to an explanation to screw up on this project by eod today…and rest of you pretending to work, but actually listening to me…you are in CC”. I think one of the greatest pleasures in life is to be in “CC”. 90% of the people CCed in emails have nothing to do with those mails…they are like the gossipy neighbors watching the couple quarrel. Hey…put off all the work…Loganathan is getting screwed…lets get CCed and watch all the fun.

You can say a lot about the person by just looking at his emails. We have this bunch of people, who, I like to call as the “big bang theory” guys. Anything that you ask them and they will start off from the big bang and evolution of universe….and by the time you get to the end of the mail, you lose track of why you even sent the mail. Dude…I was clean shaven when I started reading your mail and look at me now! And there are those that reach out to you before the email traverses to your inbox. Sir…I sent you a mail on this query.
Ok…but I did not receive any.
No sir…I just did. Press refresh!

There is also this breed of people that put a rainbow to shame. They use every color and every font size…even my four year old son does not use as many colours when he paints. Imagine if you are colour blind…you can get a complex reading those mails.
Perhaps, the best of the lot, is the illustrious ones that use a lot of jargons and end by saying…”I will get back to you”. I think...”get back” is the single most profound and powerful technique one can use to shy away from work. This seemingly innocuous yet intelligent phrase that carefully avoids any reference to the time dimension can do wonders to your “life-work” balance. By the time the guy decides to “get back”, the world would have stopped using emails as a technology for communication. Ya ya..these are the ones that you call as “smart ass” (no…not derived from “smart arts” in ppts…but the mild correlation cannot be dismissed easily). And, whats with the acronyms…fyi & a, eod, IMHO…So, Mr. Gopal, whats your opinion on this? I wish I can say..ICD…I Care a Damn!

Ya..emails is quite something… isn't it. There are novel tools too…”Out of Office Assistant”. An assistant to help on an occasional absence from office. But, what about those with an occasional presence in office. Can we have an “In office assistant” please. More about it the next time!